The Weaker Gender
by ihatewriting
Summary: One-shot. No matter how much of a badass they may be, Kankuro and Shikamaru still have a weakness for pretty girls. Temari probably never had a chance. ShikaTema, KankuTen, NejiTen


Temari knocked on the door twice before opening it, and slid the food tray inside. "Eat," she said before closing the door and banging her head softly against the opposite wall. Her beloved brother, her smart, snarky, sadistic womanizing brother Kankuro had it bad. Kankuro, who once wanted simple things—to eat, to laugh, to fight, and to get laid once it a while—was convinced he was in love. Temari had no problem with Kankuro seeing a Konoha girl. She would be hypocritical otherwise. Granted she and that shadow boy weren't dating, but she had failed to extinguish her continuously growing feelings for him, so if Kankuro liked a girl in Konoha, it was none of her business. Still, this Tenten business was infuriating.

It started when Team Gai, minus Neji Hyuuga, had been dispatched to Suna on an extended reconnaissance mission. The lovely Tenten and her big, brown doe eyes had caught Kankuro's attention. She had initially resisted his shameless advances. How dare he treat her like a piece of meat? Didn't he realize his behavior was absolutely inappropriate? He was a jounin for crying out loud! When he finally had given up, though, she started to acknowledge him. He took her out for a few meals, and she had, unlike her usual date policy, had let him pay for her meal several times. She hadn't let him touch her, aside from a few chaste kisses. Temari had expected him to get bored, but instead his feelings intensified. He woke up early each morning to escort her to the Kazekage tower, baked cookies for her, did her laundry, bought her weapons. When she returned to Konoha, he wrote her letters every other day. To his dismay, she returned none of them. And yesterday, nearly a year since the start of the reconnaissance mission, he saw her with a newborn baby and a tall, longhaired, porcelain-faced husband. When she saw him, she glowered at him with those sparkling eyes that now only held malice.

Kankuro, the badass puppeteer who only shed tears for heart wrenching Kabuki plays, cried a river in their Konoha hotel room. Despite the fact that he was surprisingly composed at their meetings with the Godaime, getting him to eat once in a while was like pulling teeth.

Temari decided to take a walk in the grounds of the training area to be away from Kankuro's insufferable wails. Surprisingly, she actually didn't resent Tenten for rejecting Kankuro (or failing to in a direct manner), even though she never cared much for the bun-haired girl. Kankuro had actually done something similar a few years ago to Tenten's good friend Sakura. After a one-night stand on a balmy autumn night in Konoha, Kankuro had conveniently forgotten to respond to any of Sakura's letters. If Tenten had toyed with his feelings as a vengeful act of female solidarity, Temari thought it was fair game (although she didn't like that it happened to her little brother). However, what she couldn't stand was Kankuro's piteous weeping when he _knew _he had caused many women the same grief that he now suffered from. How could such a smart boy be so stupid?

"Idiot."

"You know," drawled a lazy baritone, "sometimes talking to yourself too much is a symptom of a more serious mental problem."

"Nara," Temari nodded once to acknowledge him, "Why are men so stupidWhat does my brother see in that chunnin?"

"Ionno," Shikamaru shrugged, "she's pretty."

"That's all it ever comes down to isn't it?" Temari was annoyed. Even no-nonsense Shikamaru with his brilliant strategies probably had no defense against the coquettish smiles of a pretty girl. Maybe that's why she's always the one to ask him to go to dinner with her. Maybe he only asks out pretty girls, like Sakura or that ramen shop owner's daughter. So maybe she was just wasting her time.

"I'll see you around, Shikamaru." Temari began to walk away.

"Aren't you gonna ask me to get dinner with you?"

"No, I'm not playing the gentleman today."

"Then you have to at least stop by and say hi to my mom." Temari turned and looked at him quizzically. "I guess I should've asked you this before, but I told her I'd invite you over to the house tonight for dinner. I've never really had a girl over other than Ino, so Mom pulled out all the stops tonight. She even made squid parmesan. I know you hate squid, so you don't have to eat anything you don't want to, but at least stop by. If you don't she'll have serve my head on a plate."

"Thank you, Nara. That sounds lovely."

"Good. You should do this more often. A good woman is one who obeys her man."

Temari playfully smacked him in the head (a bit too hard) and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.


End file.
